They drew more blood this morning. The last vials before the surgery next week.  

I’m ready, I guess. 

Although I did make a chocolate cake with my daughter. I bake when I’m stressed. So I must be stressed. My fingernails are bitten. I thought I’d quit the habit, but evidence shows otherwise. I can’t have nail polish on for the surgery. No makeup either. Must be stripped of all feminine comforts before submitting to the humiliation of colorectal surgery.

The whole thing feels humiliating.

Not sure why some body parts are so much more embarrassing to me than others, but they are.

 This surgery is a result of a routine colonoscopy. I thought I was going to be sent on my way with a clean bill of health. My friend Dina was waiting outside in short term parking to take me to Martha’s for lunch. I no longer felt like eating when Dr Riyaz said, “I’m giving you a referral to a surgeon. I found numerous polyps that I wasn’t able to remove because of their size and location. We are going to biopsy a piece to see if there’s cancer.”


Fast forward to today, after research and multiple doctors’ opinions, I’ve got a surgery scheduled for next Tuesday.

When I feel scared about the surgery I try to think about roses.  Not a Valentine’s bouquet. A bush. I think of the abundant iceberg rose bushes in my neighborhood that I notice when I walk my dog. Because at this time of year, they’re cut back to spindly branches. The flowers and most of the leaves are gone. They’re pruned. They’re stripped of their beauty to grow more full and abundant in the spring.

That’s what I want: to grow more fully and have abundance in my life. (And longer fingernails and no colon cancer.)

So I’m thinking about my surgery as “pruning”—cutting away a piece of my body so that it can grow healthy in a few months.

February is a good time for pruning. Cutting back. 

In the beginning of the year I have big visions. I make plans, set intentions.But I can’t live a fulfilling life if I’m juggling too many projects and commitments. Pruning is necessary for growth.

Is there anything you need to prune from your life? Not forever, necessarily, just for right now. So that something can bloom. Or someone. Maybe you?

Could you cut back on

Making breakfast for teenagers every morning?

Netflix binges?

Saying yes to another volunteer committee?

These emails?

Seriously, if my writing about life at middle age, college kids, music, vision boards and more does not add anything to your life, take a moment to unsubscribe.

Prune what no longer serves you.

My wish is always to connect. To create community among women. 

Show your life some love and prune something that no longer serves you.Your life will grow and bloom in other ways.

I’d love to know what you’d like to CUT or GROW this year.